Man rejected by woman sues her for S$3m over trauma from finding out he is only a friend read full article at

SINGAPORE: A person who was rejected romantically by a girl has launched two lawsuits towards her for failing to enhance their relationship and for the emotional trauma he suffered after discovering out that she noticed him solely as a pal.

Mr Ok Kawshigan filed one swimsuit towards Ms Nora Tan Shu Mei within the Justice of the Peace’s Courtroom for S$22,000 in damages, for purportedly breaching an settlement to enhance their relationship.

The second was filed within the Excessive Courtroom for S$3 million, for the emotional trauma he allegedly suffered after discovering out that she noticed him solely as a pal, amongst different issues.

The lawsuit within the Justice of the Peace’s Courtroom was struck out by deputy registrar Lewis Tan, in response to a judgment printed on Saturday (Jan 28).

Mr Tan known as the civil swimsuit an abuse of course of and mentioned the court docket wouldn’t be an adjunct to Mr Kawshigan’s “calculated attempt to compel engagement” from Ms Tan.


Based on the judgment, Mr Kawshigan first met Ms Tan in a social setting in 2016. They turned mates, however issues started to come up round September 2020, once they “became misaligned about how they saw their relationship”, mentioned Mr Tan.

Ms Tan noticed Mr Kawshigan as a pal, however Mr Kawshigan thought of her his closest pal. Within the discussions that adopted, Ms Tan requested for his or her interactions to be diminished.

This triggered displeasure to Mr Kawshigan, who felt this is able to represent taking a step again of their relationship. Ms Tan emphasised the necessity for boundaries and to limit their meet-ups, urging Mr Kawshigan to be “self-reliant”.

In exchanges specified by the judgment, Ms Tan tried to cause with Mr Kawshigan, telling him that her “discomfort is genuine”.

Mr Kawshigan replied: “Your discomfort is as fake as the cause.”

He later mentioned: “Don’t you get it? I don’t care about you anymore from here on. From now on, you are the Respondent and I am the Claimant. And emotionally, till the day I die, you are the cause of my trauma.”

Ms Tan replied: “I have heard this before.”

Mr Kawshigan went on to say that “we will talk again once every single person disproves you. And you find that you were wrong about me. And that you truly hurt me.”

When Ms Tan requested him what she was flawed about, Mr Kawshigan replied: “Get lost. See you in court.”

He later added: “I don’t go into battle without the aim of winning, especially if I am right.”


Weeks after this, a girl claiming to be Mr Kawshigan’s counsellor reached out to Ms Tan to ask that Ms Tan take part in counselling periods.

Pondering that it will assist Mr Kawshigan come to phrases with issues, Ms Tan agreed. The authorized proceedings that Mr Kawshigan had threatened had been stored at bay whereas Ms Tan complied, however the periods bore little fruit.

Ms Tan stored up with the counselling periods for one-and-a-half years, however stopped them thereafter as she felt they had been “meaningless and futile”. She had additionally grown unable to cope with Mr Kawshigan’s “unreasonable requests”, the registrar famous.

Someday earlier than April 2022, Ms Tan initiated harassment proceedings towards Mr Kawshigan. In response, Mr Kawshigan messaged Ms Tan to say he had additionally suffered harm within the course of.

He started alluding to a possible declare towards her, utilizing phrases like “duty of care”, “damage that has strong legal basis” and “make your liability worst”.

He wrote: “In a nutshell right, my hurt … the portion that is affected by your ways. Is the due process that you don’t follow in assisting to prevent the harm I’ve gone through. A lot of harm could have been avoided if you followed the other side of due process.”

He additionally claimed that he had “damage that has strong legal basis”.

Ms Tan digested the messages and tried to alter the subject, whereas confronted with the prospect of civil motion. She prompt including the counsellor to the chat group, however Mr Kawshigan requested Ms Tan to get again to him on an “improvement summary as planned” so they might evaluate the listing collectively earlier than sending it to the counsellor.


The following day, Ms Tan despatched Mr Kawshigan an inventory of enhancements she instructed him she may count on from him. These included “safeguarding your don’ts”, “not trivialising your pain and hurt”, and “meeting up based on mutual availability, beyond coffee settings”.

This listing was later utilized by Mr Kawshigan as an settlement that shaped the idea of his declare within the Justice of the Peace’s Courtroom.

The listing was additionally the supply of great battle between the pair, mentioned the deputy registrar, with Mr Kawshigan insisting on elevated interplay and sharing, and Ms Tan wanting to take care of boundaries.

For instance, Mr Kawshigan pressed for “detailed sharing” when assembly up, and later requested to exit for a protracted weekend. When Ms Tan rejected him, Mr Kawshigan mentioned “I think you know how badly I need meetups. It’s been long overdue and it’s affecting me.”

Variations arose at any time when Ms Tan tried to take care of a distance, and Mr Kawshigan noticed this as “breaches” of the settlement that triggered him “hurt”.

After extra exchanges like this, Ms Tan stopped speaking with Mr Kawshigan on Might 14, 2022, as she may not cope with his unreasonable requests and his incapability to respect her private boundaries.

On Jun 2, 2022, Mr Kawshigan despatched Ms Tan a letter informing her that he was making a suggestion of amicable decision earlier than commencing a civil motion towards her.


Ms Tan didn’t reply to the supply to settle, and Mr Kawshigan initiated the Excessive Courtroom motion towards her on Jul 7, 2022. He claimed damages in extra of S$3 million for her allegedly defamatory remarks and negligent conduct.

He claimed that her remarks suggesting that he had harassed and spied on her triggered him to undergo injury to his “stellar reputation”, in addition to “trauma, depression and impacts” to his life.

The S$3 million determine additionally included “indefinite loss of potential investments” amounting to S$1.2 million.

In the meantime, Ms Tan obtained an expedited safety order towards Mr Kawshigan and filed her defence and counterclaim to the Excessive Courtroom motion. 

She mentioned she was a sufferer of Mr Kawshigan’s harassment, and that he had despatched her threatening messages saying she needed to preserve communications with him or face civil proceedings and or police motion.

Mr Kawshigan claimed S$22,000 in particular damages within the Justice of the Peace Courtroom swimsuit. He claimed that his incomes capability as an “active high-capital trader by night and a busy CEO by day” has been negatively affected.

As well as, he mentioned he needed to “expend time and energies to scramble and source for deeper psychological assistance”.

Deputy registrar Lewis Tan borrowed Ms Tan’s phrases and mentioned Mr Kawshigan commenced the swimsuit as a result of she not desires to have contact with him in any method, and Mr Kawshigan is refusing to just accept this truth.

“This is well supported by his course of conduct and correspondence with her over the years, which I have detailed above,” mentioned Mr Tan. 

“The body of evidence collectively reveal his tendency to resort to legalese and raise threats of litigation to compel compliance from the defendant. While he had been successful before, it appears that the defendant is now resolved to stand up against his threats. Faced with the mounting evidence against him, the claimant has not provided any evidence in his bare affidavit to shine a different light on the picture painted,” mentioned Mr Tan.

He discovered that the Justice of the Peace Courtroom motion was deliberately initiated by Mr Kawshigan with the “ulterior motive of vexing or oppressing” Ms Tan, by requiring her to defend numerous claims. 

Based on Ms Tan’s attorneys, Mr Edmond Pereira and Ms Jessica Cheung, the court docket on Tuesday ordered Mr Kawshigan to pay prices of S$14,000 plus GST and disbursements to Ms Tan.

Ms Tan has a long-term private safety order software towards Mr Kawshigan, with the trial for this persevering with in February.

Individually, Ms Tan has additionally lodged a Justice of the Peace’s criticism towards Mr Kawshigan, her attorneys mentioned. This matter is pending.

The Excessive Courtroom swimsuit is mounted for a case convention in February.

#asiannews #asian_news

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