The show began with a monologue from this year’s host, Jerrod Carmichael, who held absolutely nothing back.
In his speech, he thanked Steven Spielberg — who happened to be in attendance, as he himself was nominated for several awards for The Fabelmans — for giving him his first role in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. His speech detailed his life as a child actor and feelings of being forgotten before making Everything Everywhere All at Once, and it was brimming with hope. It will make you cry — I’m just letting you know.
This win was also historic, as Angela has now become the first actor to take home a major award for a role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Tyler James Williams took home the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Television Series for his role on Abbott Elementary.
In his speech, he took a moment to note that he hoped this was “a win for Gregory Eddie” and hoped this proved that his stories are “just as important as all of the other stories.”
Next up was a couple of back-to-back music-related offerings, which revealed that Rihanna and A$AP Rocky were, in fact, in the audience the whole time after sneaking in!
The award for Best Original Score — Motion Picture went to Justin Hurwitz for his work on Babylon.
And the award for Best Original Song — Motion Picture went to “Naatu Naatu” from RRR — beating out Rihanna, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga for the award — which composer M.M. Keeravani accepted.
Also, the song is, like, absurdly catchy and has been in my head since I first heard it a few months ago. I implore you to listen to it, please:
Next up was the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy, which went to Colin Farrell for The Banshees of Inisherin.
Colin then used the beginning of his speech to shoutout the presenter of the award, Ana de Armas, for her work in Blonde.
During her incredible speech, the play-off track slowly started to blare, which prompted her to threaten the music, saying “Shut up, please. I can beat you up. That’s real.”
Best Motion Picture — Animated went to Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, beating out Turning Red and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish.
He used his time to reiterate that animation is NOT merely a genre for children, but an art form all its own and should be respected as such.
Unrelated, but related: I could listen to him speak all day — this VOICE. So relaxing.
Zendaya was, unfortunately, not present at the ceremony, so we missed out on a sure-to-be-icon style moment. But here’s one of my favorites from the past to satiate us:
Then came Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Musical-Comedy or Drama Television Series, which went to Julia Garner for her work on Ozark.
Ryan used his speech time to point to the incredible BIPOC and queer actors he’s worked with over the years, giving special shoutouts to Michaela Jae Rodriguez, Billy Porter, Niecy Nash, Matt Bomer, and Jeremy Pope while highlighting the experiences of BIPOC and queer actors.
Following that, Cate Blanchett won Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama for her work in Tar, though she wasn’t present to accept the award.
Best Motion Picture — Non-English Language went to Argentina, 1985, and filmmakers Santiago Mitre and Ricardo Darín took the stage to accept the award.
Martin McDonagh took home the award for Best Screenplay — Motion Picture for his work on The Banshees of Inisherin.
While Best Director — Motion Picture went to Steven Spielberg for The Fabelmans.
Paul Walter Hauser won Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Limited Series, Anthology Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television for his role on Black Bird.
Then, Jennifer Coolidge won Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Limited Series, Anthology Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television for her role on The White Lotus.
Her speech was hilarious, as you’d expect, but you could definitely tell she didn’t expect to win. The highlight, IMHO, was when it cut to the creator of The White Lotus, Mike White, who was sobbing happy tears for his friend and coworker.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television went to Amanda Seyfried for The Dropout.
Similarly to Zendaya and Cate, Amanda wasn’t present at the ceremony, but her absence stood out because the presenters — Mo Brings Plenty and Cole Hauser — made a point to note she couldn’t be there because she’s “deep in the process of creating a new musical this week,” which caused the internet to be like “…huh?!”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series, or a Motion Picture Made for Television went to Evan Peters for Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, which is an absurd title for something when you really think about it.
Best Television Limited Series, Anthology Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television went to The White Lotus. Mike White took to the stage to accept the award with his cast, and he let the audience know he was going to do his speech entirely in Italian, but unfortunately he was — in fact — very drunk at this point in the night.
My favorite quote about that of course being “There was no food! The food, when we got here, they were like ‘The food is over, just drink!'” because if that’s not me at every holiday party, I don’t know what is.
Tracy Morgan and Jamie Lee Curtis then took to the stage to present Eddie Murphy with the Cecil B. DeMille Award.
Eddie gave a heartfelt speech, ending it by stating: “There is a definitive blueprint that you can follow to achieve success, prosperity, success, and peace of mind … there’s three things you need to do: pay your taxes, mind your business, and keep Will Smith’s wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Drama went to Kevin Costner for his role in my mom and dad’s favorite show, Yellowstone (seriously, that’s all I know about this show. But they love it, it replaced The Blacklist for them).
Kevin ALSO wasn’t present to accept his award, but the highlight was easily Regina Hall catching all of the giggles when trying to accept it on his behalf. It was delightful. You can watch the clip here:
Then, Best Television Series — Musical or Comedy went to Abbott Elementary. The entire cast took to the stage, and Quinta used her time to thank those in the room who inspired her to do comedy, including Henry Winkler, Bob Odenkirk, and Seth Rogen.
She also shouted out Brad Pitt, just ’cause, and I cannot blame her because, honestly, what else was she supposed to do? NOT say “hi”? He’s SITTING! RIGHT! THERE!
Best Television Series — Drama went to House of the Dragon, and you could tell they were 100% not planning on winning, with Miguel Sapochnik cracking a joke about how disheveled he appeared, saying: “As you can tell, we didn’t think we were going to win, so I didn’t get ready.”
And last but not least, the final movie awards of the night! First, Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy went to The Banshees of Inisherin.
While Best Motion Picture — Drama went to The Fabelmans.
And that’s pretty much everything you missed! Now you’re caught up on the 2023 Golden Globes and can completely forget it’s award season until the next one — but don’t worry, we’ll have you covered and caught up for that one too!